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LOST THOUGHTS
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Classic Fan Fiction

The Dimension of Lost Characters

Plant Judy stepped out of a swirling fog. All around her was a limbo of Empty black space. Her feet were walking a solid black surface. Her last memories were of the Robinson Family killing her fellow Cyclemen plants with dry ice cold packs.

As she watched the Cyclemen die, she was surrounded on all sides by a creeping white fog that she assumed came from the cold packs. As the fog enveloped her, she felt herself fade away until she appeared...where?

"Where am I?" she asked no one in particular since she appeared to be alone.

There was a strange, yet oddly familiar BOINK sound. Out of nowhere a distinguished looking Southern gentleman materialized. "Good day to you, my dear," he said in a courtly drawl. "Allow me to introduce myself, never fear, Jeremiah Smith is here.

And just what is a fragrant magnolia blossom such as yourself doing in The Dimension of Lost Characters?"

Plant Judy stared at the strange apparition. "I'm not a magnolia blossom," she corrected. "I'm a cyclemen clone of Judy Robinson. Where did you say this was?"

Before Jeremiah could answer the disembodied sound of a barking dog heralded the arrival of a plucky pooch that appeared in Jeremiah's arms. Jeremiah screwed up his face and sneezed violently, dropping the dog and reaching into his sleeve for a handkerchief. "Cease and desist, you diabolical devil dog! You know I'm allergic to animal fur!"

The dog jumped into Plant Judy's arms, his tail wagging.

"That's Penny's dog," Jeremiah explained. "Not soon after saving Penny from a mutant monster, the ungrateful child let the dog wonder off. Unfortunately that led Dog here. He's been an albatross around my neck ever since I arrived. He knows I don't like dogs and insists on plaguing me at every turn."

"How did I get here?" Plant Judy demanded, cradling Dog.

"You must have disappeared from the Robinson family without explanation,"

Jeremiah said. "I myself was a recipient of their hospitality, reunited once again with my dear cousin Zachary. We had defeated Little Joe's gambling machine. There were congratulations all around and suddenly... I was here."

"Are we the only ones?" Plant Judy asked, hoping she wasn't trapped forever with this annoying hypochondriac who reminded her all too well of Dr. Smith.

As if in answer to her question, a female Robot, carrying a bouquet of flowers, rolled into view. "Flowers are nice," the Fembot chimed. "I like flowers."

Jeremiah ran behind Plant Judy, holding his handkerchief to his nose.

"Decidedly not," he sneezed violently. To the Fembot he said, "Stop following me with those flowers, you elephantine Eve!" To Plant Judy, he explained, "This monstrous mechanical madam was once an evil robot that tried to destroy the Robinsons by seducing their Robot. She was destroyed and then reconstructed by Robot B-9, taking away her evil impulses. Then he abandoned her without any explanation and she wound up here."

"I like flowers," the Fembot chimed again, rolling off into the darkness.

"That's all she ever says now," said Jeremiah.

 

"Is that all there is in this dimension?" asked Plant Judy, horrified.

"Lost acquaintances of the Robinson Family?"

"Well, not just people," said Jeremiah, waving his hand to what appeared to be empty space. Suddenly a round space ship with strange glowing projections appeared.

"Anything the Robinsons used and abandoned for no reason wind up here," said Jeremiah. "This space ship was left behind by the space wizard Mr. Zalto. For no reason whatsoever the Robinsons merely abandoned it. They could have used it to get back to earth but just left it to rot in a cave."

"Then we can use it to escape!" Plant Judy said, dropping Dog and running for the vehicle. She yanked open the door only to have it come off its hinges.

Upon further examination, she found the vehicle to be made of wood and fiberglass. It was heavily coated with several layers of different colored paint, as if it had been used over and over and changed slightly each time.

"Not as easy as all that, my dear," said Jeremiah sadly. "Everything here serves no further purpose. Now it is merely a useless prop."

"Is there any other PERSON here?" asked Plant Judy desperately.

"Oh, yes. But you wouldn't want to meet them..."

"INDEED!" said Dr. Smith materializing out of nowhere. This Dr. Smith was dressed in a Colonel's uniform, holding a small radio. "Just as soon as I contact AOLIS 14 UMBRA, our relationship shall be severed..." Smith put a tiny ear jack in his ear and said into the radio, "Aolis 14 Umbra, calling Aolis 14 Umbra..."

"Why is HE here," asked Plant Judy.

"This is diabolical Smith," Jeremiah explained. "He's a ruthless spy and a murderer. He's a character trait abandoned by the actor who portrays him, one Jonathan Harris. Mr. Harris began to sneak in a more comical persona, as a result, the evil Smith wound up here."

Plant Judy was confused, "The actor who portrays him? What are you talking about? Dr. Smith is as real as I am."

Before Jeremiah could answer, two Robots, one looking exactly like the Robinson Robot, the other similar to the Robinson Robot only with white and black rubber pieces and a green voice light rolled up.

"Phase one," said the first Robot. "When unessential personnel are found alone, DESTROY." The Robot fired at plant Judy. She ducked just in time.

Jeremiah sighed and pulled the renegade robot's power pack.

"Thanks, fink," said the other Robot. "He was gettin' on my nerves."

"This first robot," Jeremiah explained, "was the present Robot's evil persona as programmed by Dr. Smith. This other Robot was briefly introduced to the Robinson Robot in the third season installment 'The Anti-Matter Man' and had enough personality to become a resident here."

"Third season installment?" asked an even more confused Plant Judy.

"Don't kid yourself, Fink," said the Opposite World Robot. "You're a

prisoner like we all are. Swing low, sweet chariot..."

"Please cease your sickly singing," scolded Jeremiah. Jeremiah waved his hand and all three apparitions vanished.

"You seem to be in control here," said Plant Judy.

"After a fashion, my dear," said Jeremiah returning his handkerchief to his cuff. "I must admit that I have rather adapted myself to these trying times. But I am not the one in charge here."

"Who IS in charge," asked Plant Judy.

"Why, he who has condemned us here."

"Satan?" asked Plant Judy, who shared the real Judy Robinson's knowledge of Christian mythology. She looked around nervously wondering if this was Hades.

"Worse," said Jeremiah.

Suddenly Plant Judy heard a sound like an adding machine being used. It Sounded far away.

Jeremiah pointed in the direction of the sound, "HE is that way. You can Plead your case to HIM if you wish, but I warn you, HE is a vicious task master."

Plant Judy hesitated. "What was all that talk about actors and seasons?

Just what ARE we?"

"HE will explain everything, my dear. But fear not, as the Bard was fond of saying, 'All the world's a stage and all of us, merely players.' It's just in our case... Well, I'll let HIM explain all that."

Plant Judy moved off following the sound of the adding machine. She heard buttons being pushed and a lever being pulled back. As she walked on she saw HIM. He sat at a HUGE desk in a HUGE leather chair, a man dwarfed by his furnishings wearing green eye shades and black horn rimmed glasses.

Plant Judy approached the huge desk. Displayed on the fine walnut desk was a plaque, IRWIN ALLEN, PRODUCER.

She cleared her throat.

Irwin Allen didn't acknowledge her presence. He kept working his adding Machine and grumbling over figures, "Shrink my budget, will they? Well, I can borrow the plant man suit from Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea...I'll paint it...BLUE this time. No one will notice...That will save a fortune..."

"Mr. Allen," Plant Judy said. "I don't belong here."

Irwin Allen looked up testily. "Sure you do, toots. If you're here, you couldn't be fit in the budget."

Irwin Allen pulled a script from his OUT basket and tossed it to Plant Judy. She read the cover, "LOST IN SPACE." The episode title, "THE CYCLEMEN" was crossed out and in block letters were written, "ATTACK OF THE MONSTER PLANTS." Plant Judy flipped through the script until she came upon:

PLANT JUDY:

I don't want any salad.

Plant Judy was struck by the reality of her situation. She was a fictitious character in a television script. She became vaguely aware of the name Marta Kristen. She was played by Marta Kristen.

She gathered her composure and argued her case. "But I was played by the Same actress as Judy Robinson," Plant Judy said. "You didn't have to write me out so abruptly!"

"Do you have any idea what split screen processing costs?!"

Plant Judy turned to the last page of the script. There was a scene crossed out and initialed by Irwin Allen. The scene showed Plant Judy being killed by the dry ice cold packs and turning to dried leaves. There WAS an explanation for her disappearance but it was never filmed.

"Right here in your own script is a perfectly good explanation for my disappearance," Plant Judy insisted. "Why didn't you use it?"

"Don't get logical on me, Toots," grumbled Irwin Allen. "Besides, in the script you were supposed to die. We can't show that. It'll upset the kids!"

"But you might have at least SAID something about my fate!"

"Hey, we only have an hour time slot to fill! That would take too much time, and time is money. No, you belong here." Irwin Allen returned to his figures, tuning Plant Judy out.

Plant Judy remained there for a moment. She felt suddenly resigned to her fate. Sadly, as sad as a plant clone might feel, she turned and walked away.

There was nothing for her in this dimension of lost characters. She dreaded eternity with Jeremiah Smith. If only there was SOMEONE she could pass the time in limbo with...

"Will I do," a snarling, yet strangely sexy voice said from behind.

A powerful hand gripped Plant Judy's arm and whirled her around. She was engulfed in the embrace of a man wearing a black and white checked uniform.

He kissed her violently, then jerked her back so Plant Judy could see a darkly handsome face sporting a beard. His eyes blazed with passion as he said, "I'm Drun! I'm from the Opposite World." He was Don West's opposite clone from the Anti-Matter World, portrayed by Mark Goddard in a dual role.

Plant Judy hesitated a moment, then flinging the television script aside, she grabbed Drun and pressed his lips to hers.

Maybe this won't be such a bad Dimension after all...

FADE OUT

THE END

 

 


 

 
 
 
 
 
 
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